


if that red string could bite

by jaggedwolf



Category: The Strange Case of Starship Iris (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, F/F, Getting Together, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-25 05:38:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17115452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaggedwolf/pseuds/jaggedwolf
Summary: It was one of those rare times Arkady felt a little optimistic - the nanobots were dealt with, the Rumor was back on its regular routes and there was no sign of the next threat.Then the goose showed up.





	if that red string could bite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antonomasia09](https://archiveofourown.org/users/antonomasia09/gifts).



It was a rare moment of quiet on the ship, only the hum of the regulators and Arkady’s own movement to be heard. She savored it. It’d been a while since she was up this late alone. She did the usual maintenance on all her tools and weapons and then walked a loop through the common areas, avoiding the cockpit.

She ended up in the kitchen after that. Mint tea sounded good. She’d just finished pouring herself a cup when kitchen door slid open. She spun around.

“Still awake, First Mate Patel?” asked Krejjh. Right, shift change. Krejjh had an annoying look of concern on their face. 

“My sleep cycle’s still shifted from the last drop-off.” Arkady turned back long enough to grab her mug of tea. “Want me to head up and babysit the autopilot?”

Arkady was no pilot, but sometimes it was nice to know a real person was awake while they were all hurtling through space in a tin can.

“Captain Tripathi’s got it.” Krejjh yawned, their eyelids drooping.

Arkady set the mug back down. “You look like shit. How’re you not collapsed into bed already?”

“Grabbing a drink for Crewman Jeeter first.”

“Huh.” Arkady glanced at the time. Three in the morning. “Makes sense.”

Suddenly, the vent cover right above Arkady’s head came crashing down. She barely dodged out of the way, throwing herself against the wall as her hand flew to the gun at her hip. But she wasn’t quick enough. 

Krejjh blurted out, “Look out fo-” 

A feathery mass leapt at Arkady’s face, hitting and biting. She grabbed the creature, getting a bite on her wrist for her troubles, and threw it down on the ground, whipping out her gun and aiming right at what turned out to be a-

Goose. 

Brown-feathered body, black-feathered neck with tufts of white at its cheeks, the goose stared down the barrel of Arkady’s gun as if it were slightly disappointed in her.

“What the hell?” said Arkady. Her wrist throbbed with pain.

The goose tilted its head.

Krejjh grinned, staring not at the goose, but at Arkady’s wrist. Keeping her gun on the goose, Arkady stole a glance at her wrist. A blue bite mark glowed brightly in the dim light of the kitchen. 

She glared at the goose, repeating herself. “What the hell?”

“A soulmate goose has chosen you! I didn’t even know they could attach to humans,” Krejjh exclaimed, rubbing their hands together. “Oh, man.”

“A what now.”

***

Several goose bites, one goose thrown into the first open room they saw, ten minutes of an explanation courtesy of Krejjh and a cup of tea later, Arkady felt no less bewildered.

“You’re shitting me,” said Arkady.

Krejjh shrugged. “Why would I make this up? It’s a long running tradition for many clans, though-”

A loud honk, barely dampened by the ship’s walls, interrupted them. 

“You expect me to believe. That several Dwarnian clans. Use geese. To lead their members to well-matched partners.” Arkady glowered in the direction of the medbay where the sound came from. “And that I have a glowing bite mark on my arm because this specific goose has chosen me as their next project?”

Krejjh looked way too puzzled by Arkady’s reasonable confusion at this idea. “Uh, yeah?”

The kitchen door slid open, accompanied by Violet’s voice. “Oh, hey guys.”

Arkady rose, keeping her body faced away from the door. “Want some tea? I was just about to make myself some more.”

Not the first time Violet’d been up at weird hours, though she seemed to be getting used to the schedule constant space travel demanded of their bodies. 

“I’d appreciate it,” Violet said, stepping into the kitchen. “Couldn’t sleep, so thought I’d organize our new supplies in the medbay.” 

“Oh no, bad idea,” said Arkady, crossing the room to stand by the doorway. A dull thud against the medbay door echoed all the way into the kitchen.

Violet raised her eyebrows, her words slow. “What’s going on?”

“They do tend to be very persistent,” said Krejjh, their statement punctuated by another dull thud from the medbay. 

Arkady stepped out, gesturing towards the medbay door. “Is it just throwing itself at the door?”

Krejjh shrugged. Violet looked at Arkady. Shit, hallway lights were way better than the kitchen ones, should have thought of that.

“What happened to your face?” Violet moved towards her, starting to sound a little freaked out. “Is someone in the medbay?”

“Not someone,” Arkady grumbled.

“Sorry about that, Science Officer Liu. We kind of threw First Mate Patel’s soulmate goose into the medbay.” Krejjh joined the two of them in the hallway, sliding the door shut behind them. “They can get pretty moody with space travel.”

“Arkady’s what?” asked Violet.

Arkady groaned. “Can you please stop calling it that?”

“A goose?” asked Krejjh.

“Oh no, it’s definitely a goose. One that has it out for me.” Arkady twisted her wrist to show the glowing bite mark to Violet. 

Violet examined the mark. “How did a goose get on the ship? We’re weeks away from Earth or any of the other planets.”

A series of loud honks followed Violet’s statement. Krejjh’s gaze flicked briefly towards the sounds before returning to Violet. “It’s a Dwarnian goose.”

“Okay.” Violet sounded like she was trying to roll with the punches. Good on her for trying. “Are there any similarities other than the name?”

That question Arkady could answer. “Before today I’ve only seen either kind in pictures, and uh, they seem like the same frickin thing to me.”

“Evolution would be that terrible.” Violet’s eyes narrowed as she turned her gaze to the door. “Just to confirm, Krejjh, they’re regular birds - they don’t spit out acid or anything like that, right?”

“Nope, they just lead you to your person and get upset with you if you don’t follow’em.”

“Alright,” said Violet grimly, walking down the hallway. She moved to open the medbay door.

“Liu, what the hell?” Arkady followed Violet, grabbing her arm. Another thud pounded against the door. “Did you not see the weird bite it gave me?”

“I’ll be fine.” Violet shook her hand off, seemingly unmoved by the warning about the goose’s propensity for violence. “I’m from Minnesota.”

Arkady turned back to see if that non-sequitur of a statement was any more illuminating to Krejjh. Nope. 

Violet swung open the door. Over her shoulder, Arkady could see the goose shaking its head, loose feathers scattered on the floor around it. Surprised it hadn’t hurt itself trying to open the door. The goose froze for a second, and then its gaze snapped to Arkady, filled with intent. Oh no. And Violet was in the way.

The goose came rushing forward, honking loudly. Arkady yelled for Violet to get out of the way. Instead, Violet grabbed the goose by the neck with both her hands like that was a perfectly normal thing to do, lifting it into the air. 

She marched into the medbay, looking around for something while muttering under her breath. ”Of course there are space-geese. Probably jinxed it by suggesting the notion of ghost squids, somehow. Brilliant, Violet, utterly brilliant.”

Krejjh peered into the medbay. “Science Officer Liu, they aren’t technically space-”

Arkady raised an arm to interrupt them, fighting the bizarre urge to smile. “Let the girl work out her geese baggage.”

Violet paid no attention to them. She nudged the lid off a box with her foot, descending to her knees in front of it. Then she forcefully threw the goose in, cursing colorfully as the goose flapped its wings frantically, twisting its neck to snap at her before she managed to slam the lid down on it with the weight of her torso. She sealed two sides of the box shut with duct tape her hands seemed to have produced out of nowhere, and then she rose to her feet, dusting her hands off. “All done.” 

“That was-” Arkady paused “-oddly impressive, Liu. Nice work.”

“No problem.” Violet looked satisfied.

“C’mon, First Mate Patel,” urged Krejjh, their tone growing more insistent, “Aren’t you even a little curious about who your goose leads you to?”

Their bottom pair of eyes looked at Arkady, while their top pair repeatedly flicked towards Violet. Thankfully, Violet was too busy looking over herself after her encounter with the goose to notice.

“Since we’re in the middle of nowhere,” said Arkady, glaring at Krejjh and suddenly feeling far more tired than she should be at the suggestion that a Dwarnian animal had shown up out of nowhere to validate her crush or thing or whatever her current pointless assortment of feelings for Violet were, “it’d be leading me out the airlock into the void of space. Not feeling that right now.”

“I’m going to bed.” Arkady grabbed the box containing the goose. “Yell if you need me for something actually within my skillset.”

She stomped off towards her room, ignoring Violet’s too late suggestions that she get her injuries looked over. She could sleep off most goose injuries, and the glowing bite could be dealt with in the morning.

***

A stab of pain spiked through Arkady’s shoulder, waking her up. She swiftly rolled off the mattress, her hand landing on her gun and her feet on the ground in the same breath. Instinct driving her, half-kneeling now, she aimed the gun at where her shoulder had been. 

The goose stared back. 

Was that blood on its beak? Keeping eye contact with the goose, Arkady slowly put the gun on the ground as she felt her bare shoulder with her free hand. Yep, she was bleeding. Because of a goose. This was getting a little humiliating.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the box the goose had been in last night torn to shreds. Okay. She could deal with one measly goose. She shifted forward slowly. It had just gotten the jump on her while she was sleeping. The goose didn’t move an inch, just kept staring. She had survived Cresswin and the war and hell, frickin nanites in her bloodstream. A goose was nothing.

Her hands shot forward to grab it by the neck like Violet had. The goose hopped up and on to her hands instead, honking loudly over and over again as it leapt off her hands and on to her face, hitting her right in the eyes with its wings. Arkady sputtered and lost balance, falling backwards. The goose fell with her, biting her face wherever it could. 

Once her back hit the ground the goose seemed to lose interest in biting her. Instead, she felt her hair get violently tugged towards the door. She flipped over and made another attempt to grab the goose. 

This time, she succeeded. Her hands wrapped around the goose’s neck. “Got you, you stupid animal!”

A knock on the door, accompanied by Sana’s voice. “Arkady?”

“Come in,” Arkady answered distractedly, squinting at the goose. She was starting to reconsider the whole not shooting it agreement. 

The door swung open. “So about tha-”

Arkady looked up. Sana stared in confusion at the goose, and then in concern at Arkady. Oh. Right. Not the weirdest situation Sana’d ever found her in, but definitely called for an explanation.

Sana’s face regained its usual composure. “Arkady, did you decide to get a pet? Ho-”

“I think you know me better than that.”

“Fair enough. Uh, do you know how a goose broke into your room? Or the ship, for that matter.”

“A soulmate goose doesn’t rest till it’s done its job,” pronounced Krejjh, appearing out of nowhere behind Sana.

Brian’s head popped in from the other side of the doorway. “Hey is that the goose? Also, dude, you should get Violet to look at those injuries, your shoulder’s bleeding.”

“Everyone else is here for some reason, sure, let’s invite her to join the party,” Arkady scoffed.

Sana blinked. “I think this calls for a crew meeting in the usual space.”

The goose let out a muffled honk. 

***

“Krejjh, thank you for that summary.” Sana leaned back in her seat. “While I’m concerned as to how it managed to sneak onboard while we docked at Yunus, the more pressing issue is what do we do with it?”

Everyone’s gazes turned to the goose, strangely content to sit on the table for now. The goose’s sudden disinterest in attacking Arkady once the crew meeting started only served to put Arkady more on edge. It’d probably attack when she least expected it. She stayed still though - Violet was just about done with bandaging her shoulder, insistent on doing so while Krejjh told Sana what the rest of them already knew. 

“Uh, I have a slightly different question,” said Violet. Sana nodded for her to go on. “Are Dwarnian geese carriers for any diseases I should know about? Because the three of us all got bit, and uh, the glowing is kind of concerning me.”

Arkady raised her wrist for Brian and Sana to see what Violet meant.

Krejjh waved the question off. “That’s completely norma-”

They stopped mid-sentence, mouth agape at Violet who had slid down one of her sleeves to reveal a glowing blue bite mark on her forearm.

“Holy moly!” exclaimed Krejjh.

“I thought you said it was completely normal!” said Violet.

“Yeah, for First Mate Patel.” Krejjh twisted their arm to show a bite mark to the rest of them. Normal indentations on purple skin, no blue to be found. “No glowing for any of mine.”

Sana turned her gaze to Krejjh. “I take it that the glowing means something?”

“Yeah,” Krejjh said, ”They only glow if, you know, the bites are on the pair the goose is trying to bring together.”

For not the first time since a goose fell on her head, Arkady wondered if Krejjh was enacting some kind of elaborate prank on her. Except Krejjh didn’t really do pranks. If they were getting one over you, they wanted you to know it immediately, like how they cheated at cards. 

Sana, Brian and Krejjh’s eyes all swiveled over to look at Arkady and Violet. Violet opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again without saying anything. Arkady went ahead and said the first thing on her mind. “This is ri-”

“I think,” Sana said, her interruption effortless, “that we should give you two some privacy to figure this out. Krejjh, Brian, let’s head up to the cockpit. There’s some stuff about Thasia I wanted to discuss with you two anyway.”

Krejjh and Brian respectively shot a grin at Arkady and a shrug at Violet before they left, Sana trailing behind them. Arkady made a face at Sana - best friend her ass, this definitely ranked as some kind of betrayal. Sana merely raised her eyebrows in response, the unspoken _deal with it_ evident as she shut the door behind her.

Great. Arkady glanced at Violet, who was either resolutely avoiding eye contact with her or was preoccupied with staring at the bite mark. Silence wasn’t really what she expected. She figured Violet’d be the first one to object to Krejjh’s explanation of soulmate geese, refute the whole thing on simple logic.

Ignoring her unease at Violet’s scrunched eyebrows, Arkady kept her voice light. “Are you going to suggest that ‘puking it all out to get it over with’ strategy again?”

Violet started, shaking her head. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about.”

"You seemed pretty deep in thought there," Arkady pointed out.

"I could say I was thinking about how it's fascinating that Dwarnian geese might have confirmed the existence of human pheromones and what that says about human-Dwarnian physiological similarities. That wouldn't be false. But actually, uh-" Violet paused. Shifted in her seat. She looked at the glowing bite on Arkady's wrist, absentmindedly brushing her thumb over the matching one on her own arm. "I was thinking that this is a terribly embarrassing way for you to find out that I have feelings for you."

Arkady swallowed back the sting she felt at the words, chuckling almost on reflex. "Good one, Liu."

"What?" A look of confusion crossed Violet's face.

"I said, nice joke. Great tension-breaker. Look, I don't know what the others expect us to figure out while we're in here but-"

"I wasn't joking," interrupted Violet, and this time her gaze shifted to meet Arkady's. 

Oh. Could it-

Nah. No way. Arkady was good at reading people, that's how you conned them, she'd know, she’d goddamn know. She scowled, scratching the bite on her wrist and ignoring everywhere else her body hurt. "An alien goose giving us glowy bites doesn't obligate you to-"

"Obligate me?" Violet's brows knitted together. "Is that what you think of me?"

Arkady winced. Yeah, that sounded pretty bad. 

A flash of hurt crossed Violet's face. "You could've just said you weren't interested. I'll go get the others."

Shit. Violet got up to leave and for a short second Arkady thought that maybe she should let her, let this moment pass by into a distant, awkward memory. But hell, doing the right thing had never been one of her strengths. "Liu-Violet, wait."

Violet turned to face her. Arkady stood up, crossing her arms and kept speaking against her better instincts. "I-I am interested. I like you, I've liked you for a while, and you're right, this stupid Dwarnian goose being involved makes this really really embarrassing."

"You sound awfully sullen about it." Violet raised her eyebrows.

"Pretty sure by now you know that’s just my charming personality." 

Violet shrugged, her voice mock-serious. "I mean, how do I know you're not feeling 'obligated'."

"Okay, I deserve that." Arkady uncrossed her arms and took a small, tentative step towards Violet. "Think I might be able to convince you of my sincerity, though."

Violet stepped closer. "Yeah?" 

Arkady closed the gap between them, tilting her head down to kiss Violet, her body relaxing once she felt Violet kiss her back. 

The goose honked. 

They ignored it - Violet’s hands had curled around Arkady’s neck to pull her deeper into the kiss, and Arkady couldn’t find it in herself to care much about the goose right now. 

The goose honked again, louder.

Violet broke the kiss, a grin on her face. “I think your goose has something to say.”

“It’s not my goose,” Arkady grumbled. She glared at the goose. “We figured it out, shouldn’t you stop complaining now?”

The goose looked at her, then Violet, then back at her and nodded. Then it took off and flew right into a vent in the ceiling, bursting past the cover like it was nothing. 

As the cover clattered on the ground, Arkady turned to Violet, bewildered. “You saw that too, right?”

“Definitely your goose.” Violet looked smug, her gaze dropping from the ceiling vent to Arkady. “It likes the vents as much as you do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt in your letter and couldn't help myself, I only hope that this delighted you as much as your prompt delighted me!
> 
> All beta credit goes to shrimpeggroll, and any remaining mistakes are entirely my own. I can be found at jaggedwolf on tumblr and dreamwidth.


End file.
